Time to Run!

When things change in life I think we learn to appreciate the consistency of what doesn't.  (ie Friends, places, traditions)  For me, I like to run.  Running offers the exercise and escape all in one.  It's the one constant I can enjoy when things all around me seem to be changing.  That's particularly why I enjoy training for long runs (marathon or half-marathon).  The training for these runs takes you through different seasons and the weather that goes along with it.  In Oklahoma that means running in the wind, heat, cold, and rain.  While the elements around me may be changing, the run is the same.  One step in front of the other, establish rhythm, and off you go.  

Lord willing, I won't be giving up running anytime soon, especially when everything around me is changing.

Struggle Within

This transition is going to be more difficult than I realized.  My "flesh" just doesn't want to cooperate.  But I guess that's to be expected with God's calling.  My flesh doesn't want to jump into the unknown and be uncomfortable.  My flesh doesn't want to sell my house, leave my friends, and leave job security.  But once again, I'm not surprised.  I mean, the flesh could be kicking and screaming the whole way with God's calling.  The Bible tells us our flesh is our original sin-nature before we accept Christ.  When we accept Christ it doesn't just go away.  It's constantly at war with the Holy Spirit inside.  In a sense it's easier before you're a Christian because you don't have the constant struggle!

I heard an awesome message from Alistair Begg a few days ago that God wanted me to hear.  The sermon was from Genesis 12 when Abram was being called by God to leave Ur and journey to Canaan.  "The Lord had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you."  Gen 12:1.  Note how specific God's call is to leave contrasted with the vagueness of where Abram is to go.  God doesn't tell him where he's going, but Abram doesn't hesitate.  He goes.  (Gen 12:4)  Wow!  Now that's faith.  He doesn't even know where he's going.  He trusts God to show him on the way.  Abram's faith unlocks an outpouring of blessings for future generations.  I have it much easier!  At least I know where I am suppose to go!

Alistair Begg's message was so timely for me.  He goes on to say that when God has called you to move forward, staying where you are is essentially moving backward.  Interesting.  Stagnation can be equated to moving backward in God's eyes.  Wow.  Timely message for me.  Lately my spiritual growth has become a bit stagnant.  I believe it's because God has called me forward and I must go.  ARRG!  -That's my flesh revolting, which is likely right where God wants me.

Here Goes!

It's hard to describe how I feel right now.  Bittersweet.  I turned in my resignation today at KFOR.  (My last day will be in August).  I have made the decision to attend Dallas Theological Seminary in the fall full-time.

It has been a difficult decision.  I couldn't have asked for anything more at KFOR.  It has been an amazing experience over the past seven years.  I will especially miss the people.  So why am I leaving?  Well, it's this "call" that just won't go away.  I have tried to suppress it, but it keeps coming back.  I wish I could say that I clearly heard God in a loud, audible voice say "Go to seminary."  But I haven't.  I would describe it more as a gentle nudge.  -A persistent gentle nudge.  I am convinced now is the time to take the leap of faith.  Am I scared?  YOU BET!  But I don't want to look back and have regrets.

Below is my theme song through this journey.  It's called "The Motions" by Matthew West.  Here are the lyrics:

This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets 
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dva6-Yu3zkI

To Lead or Not to Lead

I believe leadership is one of my spiritual gifts.  (Notice I said "I believe."  Others may disagree that I'm any good at it :).  There is something about rallying the troops, surging forward and inspiring others that really energizes me.  Plus, most of my life I have been looked to as a natural leader by my peers.

Let's reflect on this concept of "natural leader" for a minute.  I don't think leadership is something we necessarily choose.  I guess with certain projects and tasks we can choose, but overall, a lifetime of leadership isn't really a choice.  It is something God has placed within in order to accomplish Kingdom Work.  What a thrill!  It's receiving our orders directly from the One in charge and carrying them out.  All this to reiterate, I don't think leadership is a choice.  People will follow us or they won't.  We certainly can't make them.  And sometimes we may not even want them to.  But it's not really our choice.  It's God's.

I have a lot to learn about leadership.  Not long ago when I sensed leadership was one of my spiritual gifts, I was volunteering to lead everything.  From Bible studies to mission trips to softball teams.  God used these experiences to teach me that I still have much to learn!  You see, I thought I was fully equipped.  But God clearly showed me that learning to lead is a life-long process.

Servant leadership is really what it's all about.  It's at the heart of Scripture.  It's how Jesus led.  Truthfully, servant leadership is where the rubber meets the road.  Are we laying down our lives for others?  Are we practicing what we teach as a leader?  Honestly, these are tough ones for me.  I have been in a contemplative state for a while regarding servant leadership.  How can I effectively lead others if I'm not willing to lay down my life for them?  Furthermore, how can I lead others in matters that I'm not practicing myself?  (ie discipline, spiritual growth, compassion)

Yes indeed.  I have a lot to learn.  I am comforted though in the fact that it is a life-long process.

GrantJ