Friday, August 28, 2009

Sometimes it Stinks

I'm back in Oklahoma City for the weekend.  The closing on my house is a week and a half away.  Tomorrow I'm having a garage sale since I still have quite a few household items and don't have the space to take anything else to Dallas.  So, the house is about 70% cleared out and I'll be honest, this stinks!  It doesn't feel like home anymore.  It's just a property that's about to change hands.  I'm having a tough time with it.  I guess I'm being too sentimental, but I have a lot of great memories here.  I like my house.  It's spacious.  It's comfortable.  Darn, there's that word again.  Comfortable.  "God, why did you have to call me out of my comfort zone??"

I just got back from a walk on this beautiful fall-like night and I did some talking to God.  I told him how difficult this transition was for me.  (Of course He already knows, but I wanted to make sure).  I found myself asking, "Lord, is it going to be worth it?  Leaving this good life, my friends, my security?"  He responded with silence.  He knows I already know the answer.  Yes... (sigh for now) it will be worth it.  It's just difficult right now.  (I think He understands).  

So yes, it's a pity-party and I'm the only one invited!  I know it will get easier and I know it will be worth it.  But sometimes it just stinks.  And that's okay.  As Christians we know to expect difficult times along the way.  James 1:2 says to "consider it pure joy when you face trials."  Joy is the deep down soulful bliss that surpasses temporary happiness.  Am I happy?  Not at the moment.  Am I joyful?  Yes.

I am thankful I have the joy.  I am thankful God knows what He's up to, especially when I don't.  :)  

GrantJ
 
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2 comments:

  1. UnknownAugust 29, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    GrantJ,

    Thanks for sharing honestly about the reality of following God. It sounds admirable, even alluring or sexy at first, but a faithful walk is not always on the beach with sand between your toes and warm water lapping at your feet. Sometimes it's more like a driving blizzard, barefoot, uphill, both ways....wait...that was my dad going to school. I digress.

    Be encouraged. Many are praying for you and God has promised to walk with you.

    "Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Cor. 4:16-18)

    Andy

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  2. UnknownAugust 29, 2009 at 10:36 PM

    Thanks, Andy. I appreciate the encouragement.

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